The S File ™ -- Parenting » Sleep

Sleep: “The Lost Hour”

Ms. S — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 15:51:07 +0000

Research Found That A Sleepy Sixth-Grader Will Perform In Class Like A Mere Fourth-Grader

Did you know that children — from elementary school through high school — get an hour less sleep each night than they did thirty years ago? The authors of Nurture Shock, Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman, investigated the consequences of this. Below is a list of the ones that I found currently relevant to my family (you may click on the links for more):

What Happened When Some Forward-Thinking Schools Pushed Back School Start Times By One Hour?

The CDC now recommends that high schools consider later starts: its representatives are now opining that a change in school start times can change lives.

Related Content:

My Notes On Sleep:

Sleep Deprivation: How Do Parents Manage It?!

Ms. S — Sat, 18 Sep 2010 00:20:57 +0000

My husband and I just returned from a long weekend with our two daughters. Our three-year-old- and seven-month-old- daughters shared a room with us, and, with all the exciting circumstances, my husband and I barely slept.

Photo Credit: Lounge Park/Getty Images; from Redbook

Our seven-month-old would wake up around 1-2 AM, “chatting” and exercising her lungs while also insisting on practicing her new-found crawling (or, more accurately, face planting!), until about 4-5 AM. Then, although our three-year-old would miraculously sleep through all this, she would wake up around 5-5:30 AM, excited to swim and play.

Between the different night schedules of our two children, and our active days, I was thinking about the recent New York Magazine article, “I Love My Children. I Hate My Life” by Jennifer Senior. My “vacation” experience reminded me that a key reason parenting can be so hard to enjoy at times is because it’s so PHYSICALLY EXHAUSTING!

Sleep Deprivation Is A Form Of Torture

This weekend’s experience, preceded by many more sleepless nights, led me to do some online research.

“Sleep deprivation is not like torture – it is a form of torture, a tactic favoured by the KGB and the Japanese in PoW camps in World War Two.”

Oddly, I found relief from an article, “The Real Victims of Sleep Deprivation” by Megan Lane and Brian Wheeler, that was inspired by a reality television show in which contestants starve themselves of sleep for a week in the hopes of winning a cash reward. Throughout the 7.5 months that I’ve been nursing, I have felt tortured and psychotic at times from both the sleep deprivation and the lack of uninterrupted sleep!

“Going without sleep is intensely stressful, with unpredictable short- and long-term effects. People lose the ability to act and think coherently… Making a [television] programme in which people are deprived of sleep is like treating them with medication that will make them psychotic.”

Furthermore, when I read that the Pentagon would play loud rock music on sleep deprived prisoners to break their resistance (quoted below), I thought: “What about those sleep deprived moms?!!”

“The Pentagon has denied torturing Iraqi prisoners, but it has admitted using sleep deprivation and playing loud rock music to break prisoners’ resistance.”

All moms know that we are much more sensitive to the cries of babies than the dads! (Just read: “Men Really Don’t Hear A Crying Baby At Night“)

Just Venting…

Of course, I don’t mean to belittle the experiences of those who have really been tortured by sleep deprivation. Given my recent cumulative lack of sleep, however, I have deepened empathy for that experience than ever before and could relate to a few sections of the article.

What Helps Me?

What really gets me through these physically challenging times are two things. First, and by far the most nourishing fuel for this foggy road, is the comfort and security that my unconditional presence brings to my children: the immediate and visible relief that my baby daughter feels once she knows that I’m picking her up; or the security I sense in my toddler when I show up in her room when she calls for me in the morning. (Note: At home, we have had general “rules,” like no pickup of our toddler before 6-6:30 AM; and no pickup of the baby before 6 AM. However, our general rules don’t, or can’t, apply when away from home.)

Second, is knowing that so many more parents are going, and have gone, through the same experience. I find comfort in knowing that sleep deprivation from parenting is a universal experience and privilege.

The Influence of Sleep On One’s Perspective…

Now that we’ve spent a night home after our weekend — all of us sleeping in our contained compartments, I immediately woke from my first night of some uninterrupted sleep, remembering it with a BIG internal smile and feeling our sleepless “vacation” to be as magical as it was.

Happy Child, Happy Mom

—-

Please note that all quoted text above are from “The Real Victims of Sleep Deprivation: Sleep deprivation is nowadays a source of light entertainment. But it has been used as a real instrument of torture around the world” by Megan Lane and Brian Wheeler; BBC News Online Magazine; Last Updated: Thursday, 8 January 2004, 12:23 GMT

Related Content:

Sanskrit Chanting — For Kids Too?

Ms. S — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 15:06:58 +0000

A few years ago, I completed a yoga teacher training program. I had been interested enough in yoga that I wanted to pursue this program as an introductory overview of yoga. This program introduced me to the language of Sanskrit, which I don’t remember ever even knowing of its existence until this program.

Scientists Say that Sanskrit Has A Unique Mathematical Precision

In one of our required readings for the Sanskrit section, I was fascinated by the below:

“[Sanskrit] has been written up in AI magazine (spring ’85) by a NASA researcher, Rick Briggs, as the only spoken language in the world capable of functioning with mathematical precision and embodying the basic principles of artificial intelligence. It is possibly the only natural language in the world that is compatible with computers.”

– by Vyaas Houston M.A.

NASA is studying Sanskrit for use in artificial intelligence? There’s a mathematical precision to Sanskrit?! Wow. This really intrigued me and opened my mind up more for the related yoga chanting, to which I had been very close-minded.

Chanting Has Healing Powers?

In some additional required reading, I was fascinated further by the following:

“During the 1960s there was a very clear instance of sound’s potential to affect human health. For centuries the monks of a certain Benedictine monastery in France had chanted several hours every day. Then, during the 1960s, the Second Vatican Council began considering alterations in church practices, including changing the language of chant from the traditional Latin to languages spoken locally. But when the Council could not agree on the language issue, it was checked instead to end chanting altogether and replace it with other, more productive activities.

When this new routine went into effect, the Benedictine monks began to change. For hundreds of years the order had thrived on only three or four hours of sleep, but now the monks became listless and fatigued. Even when their schedule was further altered to allow more sleep, they were constantly weary. A change in diet was implemented. A seven-hundred-year tradition of vegetarianism was replaced by a diet that included meat, but the monks’ health did not improve.

Then Dr. Alfred Tomatis, an ear specialist, visited the monastery and tested the monks’ hearing. Many of them turned out to be hearing-impaired, though the cause was unclear. The only variable seemed to be the cessation of chanting. Dr. Tomatis recommended that chanting resume. After the monks returned to their old routine, a transformation very quickly took place among them. Most of them again became able to function with minimal sleep.

Dr. Tomatis later told this story to a Canadian broadcast audience and explained that the cerebral cortex can become “charged,” or positively stimulated, by certain kinds and frequencies of sound. Through their daily chanting sessions, the Benedictines were bringing energy into their bodies and their minds.”

– by Thomas Ashley – Farrand; 1999; pages 26 – 27:

Hmmm…I was skeptical, but interested by the above. The wall, or guard, that kept me close-minded to yoga chanting (mostly from being uncomfortable with the unknown), slowly descended as I read more about chanting and Sanskrit, things like the above.

I haven’t studied Sanskrit or chanting further, since the yoga teacher training program, but I have practiced it more as a student in certain yoga classes. I found myself drawn to certain teachers because their chants at the beginning of class were so beautiful. Over time, I started chanting in the shower, while pregnant with my first daughter.

Back to Sanskrit…

After my first daughter was born, I stopped yoga (and other things) as I was much busier juggling the responsibilities of a new mom. But, later, as getting my daughter to sleep started to become more challenging because she was so alert, I would see that her mind was “jumping around like a monkey” or was wandering like an “unbridled horse,” as a number of yoga books have described the mind. Exhausted, I would watch my very not-ready-for-bed daughter and remember hearing that speaking / chanting Sanskrit — whether spoken correctly or not — lulls the mind (something about the structure of the language). I decided to chant some Sanskrit mantras that I had learned in yoga class to see if it would help focus (still) her mind. And it worked!! Relatively quickly, her mind calmed down (became more still), and she went from standing/ jumping in her crib to laying down, to falling asleep pretty quickly. I couldn’t believe how quickly she went from A to Z.

Since the initial few times, it’s worked about 80% of the time. My daughter eventually went through a period of being bored of the few chants that I know, but, over the past few months, she has been asking for them every night at bed time.

Related Notes:

The Importance of Mantra

Finally Liberated to Sleep!

Ms. S — Thu, 01 Jul 2010 02:37:00 +0000

This is for any mom who struggles to have her child (between the ages of 4 and 12 months old) sleep through the night.

As I write this, my youngest daughter is almost six months old and it has been at least six months since I have had more than 2 – 4 consecutive hours of sleep.

I’ve known that my daughter has been physically ready to sleep through the night for a while, since she has been at least 3 months old and at least 12 pounds in weight. I acknowledge that on some level I wasn’t ready for her to sleep through the night. We were co-sleeping and I was really enjoying it.

So between months 3 and 4, I was procrastinating having to leave this stage behind (though I got her on a regular daytime nap schedule). At around 4 months of age, I began considering sleep training (a cry-it-out approach, which was very effective (and brief) with my oldest daughter). During this period of considering sleep training, however, she had her accident and then I was emotionally not ready to sleep train her for a few more weeks.

Now, however, I recognize that things have to change, as I proceed through my life in a foggy, Zombie-like state, sometimes getting extremely overwhelmed and depressed by the sleep-deprivation. My brain even throbs and hurts sometimes.

A Recent Milestone

Last night was my FIRST night of not picking her up: she went down at 6:30pm and was not picked up until 7am! I’m so proud of myself!! The following information — excerpts from A Mother’s Circle (2004) by Jean Kunhardt, M.A., Lisa Spiegel, M.A. & Sandra Kunhardt Basile — is what “flipped the switch” for me.

“By the time they are four months old, babies need eleven to twelve hours of uninterrupted sleep at night and two naps a day of at least one hour each. They need this amount of sleep in order to develop optimally. What surprises most parents is the invariability of this development fact: at this age, babies do best with fourteen hours or more of sleep during the course of a twenty-four hour period. What differs in babies is how easy or hard it is to help them get that sleep.”

– page 127

“If your baby is three to four months old, was born at full term, is healthy, and weighs at least twelve pounds, he is beginning to be capable of sleeping through the night for eleven to twelve hours without a feeding. This does not depend on whether he is breastfed, formula-fed, or has begun to eat cereal. At this age babies are physically able to give up their nighttime feedings and will naturally eat more during the day to meet their nutritional needs. Because it activates the digestive system, a feeding in the middle of the night can actually be disruptive to sleep. By not feeding your baby in the middle of the night, his metabolism is allowed to slow down, which, in turn, promotes sleep. Babies who are fed during the night when they no longer need it are actually being asked to have their bodies do the work of sucking, swallowing, digesting, and eliminating when their bodies really need to be in a state of restorative sleep. So when you are worrying that you are depriving your baby of food in the middle of the night think of it this way — I am helping my baby’s mind and body to get fundamental nutrients by letting the baby have a night of uninterrupted sleep.

Although I had already been viewing sleep as critical to my child’s brain development, I had no idea that nursing my daughter throughout the night would be disruptive to her brain development / restoration! This is exactly what I needed to hear at this juncture. It liberated me from all the excuses / worries that led me to continue to nurse throughout the night.

What Helped As I Heard My Daughter Cry In Anger Throughout the Night

Babies, like adults, go through cycles of deep sleep, light sleep, and brief wakings throughout the night… Babies, however, need to learn how to fall asleep and how to get back to sleep on their own after these normal, intermittent night wakings. When you hold back from always being the soother you are allowing your baby to develop a self-soothing habit that will be his to use for the rest of childhood.”

– pages 128 – 129

So, last night, as my heart would twist as I listened to my baby cry it out, I kept reminding myself that I’m doing her a favor by giving her the opportunity to learn to self-soothe. It helped! And I hope that sharing this helps another mom in a similar situation!

Note: I have been a participant of a “mother’s circle” at Soho Parenting in Manhattan. I have had the privilege of getting to know Lisa Spiegel, one of the authors of A Mother’s Circle, which is partially why I found the information so comforting. Struggles with sleep is a frequent topic in the group.

My Notes On Sleep:

Impacts of Sleep: Things I Didn’t Know

Ms. S — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 20:09:23 +0000

It’s always ironic to me that I’m usually reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, M.D. at around 1-3am. So, as I’m reading about the benefits of good sleep habits / hazards of poor sleep while completely sleep deprived, I can empathize quite well!

I found the following to be fascinating:

“In the same way that we know how much calcium your baby needs for his bones to grow stronger, we know how important healthy sleep is for the growing brain. Calcium deficiency in childhood harms bone development, but the problems of osteoporosis may not show up until much later in adult life. So if your child eats a calcium deficient diet, the problem is “hidden” because there are no immediately apparent ill effects. Likewise, sleep deficiency in childhood may harm neurological development; the problems remain “hidden,” not showing up until later. I think it is possible that unhealthy sleep habits contribute to school-related problems such as attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and learning disabilities. I also suspect chronically tired children become chronically tired adults who suffer in ways we can’t measure: less resiliency, less ability to cope with life’s stress, less curiosity, less empathy, less playfulness. The message here is simple: Sleep is a powerful modifier of mood, behavior, performance, and personality.”

– Dr. Marc Weissbluth, M.D. of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (1987), page xix

My Personal Experience

As I’m sure other parents have experienced, my oldest child (2.5 years old, as of this writing) has two personalities: 1) the typical 2.5 year old whiny, at times defiant, irritable, challenging child (“Child 1″); and, 2) the endearing, charming, polite, smart, easy child (“Child 2″). I’ve learned that Child 1 is the result of sleep-deprivation and Child 2 is the result of good sleep.

From reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, I was anal about my oldest daughter’s sleep habits until recently. I am convinced that good sleep and a healthy diet are two huge contributors to her being as amazing as she is.

From waking every 2-3 hours throughout the night to nurse my 3.5 month old child, my mental capacity is much more diminished from not only the fewer hours of sleep but also from the interrupted sleep. From the sleep deprivation of nursing my first child, I noticed loss of vocabulary that I never fully recovered!

From my personal experience with sleep deprivation, I can better appreciate reading the following:

It is also possible that severe or chronic sleep deficits occurring early during the period of rapid brain growth might hard-wire circuits to produce permanent effects. This would be difficult to prove, because young children cannot report how they feel and we assume it is “natural” for them to have difficult temperaments, have tantrums, get frustrated, become easily angry, and so forth…

If the brain has been permanently changed due to severe or chronic sleep loss, then, when the naps disappear and school requires more mental vigilance and focused attention, preexisting problems may appear. It is not simply academics that might suffer. We do not know the contribution of healthy childhood sleep towards creativity, empathy, a sense of humor, or adult mental health.

– Dr. Marc Weissbluth, M.D. of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (1987), page 54

Conclusion

Parents, read more about sleep so that you can make more informed choices for your child. I notice such a huge change in myself and in my children when sleep is “perfect” and when it is insufficient. If I had known more about the impacts of good sleep habits on my brain — my quality of life, then I would have made changes for myself a LONG time ago!