Below is the less traditional breastfeeding experience of my friend, Kathy. The first time I heard the story, I thought it was fascinating (since I had never heard of an experience like this), and a story worth sharing. I hope that this story leads other moms in similar situations to feel less alone, and to lead an even broader group of moms to be more compassionate towards those who are not breastfeeding. I never thought I would think this before, but, breast is not always best.
My son is hyper. We never realized how active he was until we had our second son, but now there’s no escaping it. Managing our 4-year-old’s extra energy is part of our daily routine, and it’s a constant battle. When he was a toddler I thought it was normal that he needed to go to the park every day and that he jumped off chairs and beds and couldn’t sit still for dinner. Then his brother was born and it all become so clear. This baby was calmer, a better sleeper, more content, less agitated. Now of course, they are two different people with different temperaments, but there are also very clear signs that my younger son is healthier. The difference? I think its breastfeeding.
Now, before you say “No! The breast is best!” hear me out. I absolutely believed that breastfeeding was best for my baby and was devastated when he was was diagnosed with a high palate. No one could help. The private lactation consultants, chiropractors and cranial sacral therapists could not get him to suck, and while I ignored the pediatrician’s pleas to give him formula, I finally understood that he was starving to death. So, after 8-weeks of struggling to nurse I threw in the towel and bought a can of Earth’s Best Organic formula. I insisted on organic, as much as my heart hurt to do it and I am not one to easily give up. Immediately he started to gain weight and was a happier baby, but I continued to beat myself up about not being able to breastfeed. I nursed my oldest until he was 18-months and I was so proud of my accomplishment. At this point my mother chimed in that it might not have been much of an accomplishment after all. Many doctors believe the best way to detox a mother’s body is to nurse. Apparently the chemicals from the mother go through the breast milk and straight into the baby, so if a woman is especially toxic, it’s extremely dangerous. There are significant studies to prove it, like the Toxic Fire Retardants (PBDEs) in Human Breast Milk report from The Environment Working Group which shows American women have higher levels of brominated fire retardants in their breast milk than women in other parts of the world. These fire retardants impair attention, learning, memory, and behavior in laboratory animals at surprisingly low levels and they are found in hundreds of products we use every day, including furniture, computers, TV sets and cars.
There’s no denying that my body is riddled with chemicals and I am working as hard on myself to get rid of them as I am on my son. I have a host of health problems and sometimes I lie awake at night blaming myself for passing my problems onto an innocent child. If I could just go back in time and give him formula would he be calmer? Would he be happier? My only comfort is knowing that I couldn’t have known. Who would have thought? I will say that he and I do share a special bond. Maybe it was the hours of nursing that brought us closer together, and I’m grateful for that, but I know now that my militant support of breastfeeding has changed.
